I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Alive.
So much puke
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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