Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
