Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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