So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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