Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
