Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
