i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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