ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
