Cold hands, warm shart.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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