Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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