im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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