I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
