Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
