No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
