im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
