that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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