the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
