for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize