Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
