Just fell off a train. Bad.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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