Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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