No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
