Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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