are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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