he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it's like iHOP with fire
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
