awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
