I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
