last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
