Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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