i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
now i know why i became what i already was.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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