Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
a search helicopter?!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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