I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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