i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
