you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
