he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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