Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
