As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
