Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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