Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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