I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
