Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
