someone get that fucking seahorse.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
