Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
