i may or may not be watching the land before time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You are a genius and a whore.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
