Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
