she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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