Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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