He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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