somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
