All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my nose is crying tears of wow.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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