i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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