I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize