Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I FOUND THE LEGS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
