I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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