please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
