What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
please come you make the beer taste better
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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