Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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