Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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