he shaved USA in his pubs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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