Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
