I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
