Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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