i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
