Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
