Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
